Forgiveness: An Act of Receiving and Giving
by Sharon Whited, MSW, Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Forgiveness is a topic that springs up in all of our lives. We experience and commit a variety of offenses. Some of these offenses are minor in nature and some cause deep suffering. We can find ourselves as the perpetrator or recipient of offense. We will all find ourselves in the posture of seeking forgiveness or offering forgiveness at some point in our lives. No one is exempt.
I remember a powerful example of forgiveness I found in the story of Corrie Ten Boom. In her book, The Hiding Place, Corrie Ten Boom shares her family’s story of harboring hundreds of Jews to protect them from the Nazis during World War II. Eventually, her family was betrayed and was sent to a concentration camp. Corrie was miraculously released, but her family was murdered. There is a part of her story that beautifully illustrates forgiveness. Corrie encounters an S.S. soldier that she recognized from the concentration camp after speaking at a church in Munich.
“He was the first of our actual jailers that I had seen since that time. And suddenly it was all there – the roomful of mocking men, the heaps of clothing, Betsie's (Corrie’s sister) pain-blanched face.
He came up to me as the church was emptying, beaming and bowing. “How grateful I am for your message, Fraulein.” He said. “To think that, as you say, He has washed my sins away!” His hand was thrust out to shake mine. And I, who had preached so often to the people in Bloemendaal the need to forgive, kept my hand at my side.
Even as the angry, vengeful thoughts boiled through me, I saw the sin of them. Jesus Christ had died for this man; was I going to ask for more? Lord Jesus, I prayed, forgive me and help me to forgive him. I tried to smile, I struggled to raise my hand. I could not. I felt nothing, not the slightest spark of warmth or charity. And so again I breathed a silent prayer. Jesus, I prayed, I cannot forgive him. Give me Your forgiveness.
As I took his hand the most incredible thing happened. From my shoulder along my arm and through my hand a current seemed to pass from me to him, while into my heart sprang a love for this stranger that almost overwhelmed me. And so I discovered that it is not on our forgiveness any more than on our goodness that the world's healing hinges, but on His. When He tells us to love our enemies, He gives, along with the command, the love itself.”
― Corrie ten Boom | The Hiding Place
I remember being perplexed when I read this encounter. How was it possible for Corrie Ten Boom to forgive someone who participated in the humiliation, torture and murder of her own family? The encounter Corrie shared exemplifies an important Biblical truth. In Ephesians 4, we can find clarity regarding God’s expectations regarding forgiveness. Paul writes, “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” Our forgiveness of others is motivated by the forgiveness we have received from God. In Corrie Ten Boom’s encounter with the S.S. soldier she has a moment when she is receiving and giving the forgiveness of God.
Forgiveness is not merely an altruistic or moral gesture. It does not spring out of an innate emotional response. It’s an act of obedience that is propelled by the love of God. It’s the undeserved gift of God’s mercy and love that we receive that propels us to forgive our enemies. Forgiveness also requires us to believe that our enemies are also recipients of God’s love and undeserved forgiveness. Corrie Ten Boom recognized that Jesus Christ died for her and the enemy she faced.
Our shame, pain, pride, fear and anger often keep us from the receiving and giving of forgiveness. Forgiveness is not abdicating our offenders from responsibility or the consequences of their actions. However, forgiveness does require us to trust God’s character and plan in response to sin. God has not left us to our own devices in the matter of forgiveness. God has made a clear path for us. He has already given us all we need to forgive others. Christ is the path to forgiveness. While being tortured to death, Christ took upon himself the wrath of God that we all deserve. He gave the undeserved gift of forgiveness to his murderers and all of humanity. As Christ died he said, “Father forgive them for they do not know what they are doing”. (Luke 23:34) Christ’s forgiveness can be a powerful starting point for anyone who wants to walk their own road to the freedom that forgiveness brings.