Embracing Change: The Heartbeat of a Lasting Marriage
In the marriage and family life journey, my wife and I have discovered the indispensable practice of continual dialogue and adaptation. Each stage of our family life cycle has demanded unique adjustments, redefinitions, and connections. It's a process that never truly ends, and herein lies the beauty of a committed relationship.
From our early days as newlyweds, it became clear that a single life was behind us and that a new chapter had begun. We weren't just living for ourselves anymore but building a life together. This realization led us to define what our life would look like in this new role. Simple decisions, like how to allocate household chores or spend weekends, became foundational in setting the tone for our partnership.
The arrival of our first daughter marked another significant shift—from a couple to a family of three. This transition required us to redefine not only our roles but also our relationship as a couple within the context of parenthood. Each phase, from welcoming our additional two daughters to pursuing my doctoral studies to anticipating the teenage years ahead, has required a fresh set of negotiations and adaptations.
What many parents and couples might overlook is that each phase of life—from parenting teenagers to adjusting to an empty nest—requires a conscious effort to redefine and reinvent how we interact and live with our loved ones. The teenage years, for example, demand a different approach to discipline and communication. Recognizing and adjusting to these changes can prevent the sense of disconnection that sometimes emerges during this challenging phase.
Similarly, the empty nest phase can feel like a stark departure from the child-rearing years. Couples often struggle with feeling like roommates rather than life partners. This is a crucial time to renegotiate roles, explore new hobbies, and rediscover each other as individuals and as a couple.
The heart of my message is the essential importance of ongoing communication. Couples must regularly discuss how each season affects their relationship and family dynamics. Such conversations are about navigating challenges and seizing the opportunity to grow together and deepen bonds.
This dialogue is the heartbeat of a lasting marriage, enabling couples to survive and thrive through life's seasons. Embracing change opens up new avenues for joy and fulfillment in our relationships.
Dr. Luis San Roman, LCPC, NCC
Clinical Director